Hungary Successfully Stops Birds’ Attempt to Migrate to Europe

In an official statement Hungarian authorities announced that border guards had prevented a flock of pigeons, escaping from the Middle East, from infiltrating the Hungarian skies thereby averting any danger to the Hungarian people created by the flock.

The statement also claimed that for many years the authorities have been watching these birds crossing the Hungarian skies, drinking its water and feeding on its resources, but this time the authorities used anti-aircraft missiles to bring them down. Survivors were arrested and had their wings trimmed in preparation for deportation back to the Mediterranean so preventing their return and serving as an example for others.

The Hungarian President, Viktor Orbán, expressed his pride in the border guard forces, thanking them for their hard work in preventing anything from entering the country, and making Hungary Great Again.

He added: ‘Hungary is for the Hungarians, be they humans, animals or inanimate objects. We do not know what these birds might be carrying; it could be disease or poison. And even if they are healthy and safe, we must prevent them from mating with our birds in order to preserve the purity of our breeds. We also cannot ignore the possibility of an external motivation for these birds infiltrating our country, or the possibility that this is just one more way of spying on us.’

Trusted sources said that the government is considering replacing existing fencing borders with a giant glass dome to cover the entire country thereby preventing anything, even the air itself, from entering Hungary.

Bird migration expert, Dr. Saad Malahis, commented that recently there had been an unprecedented increase in the rate of birds migrating to Europe, citing the cause as missiles and shrapnel in the Middle East preventing the birds from flying safely.

* Borders: Very real lines conceived by mankind because urination, as a means of proclaiming control over land, spreads repugnant odours.


Translated from the Arabic by Carol Khoury